Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Do we know why the crime rate is so high, and why teenage pregnancy numbers are so astronomical? Or maybe why homosexuality is so rampant, or why there is so much promiscuity amongst our married and single people? Well, I'm sure we can take a pretty good guess on why things are the way they are.

One of the main reasons is because of our absent fathers. Yeah, Yeah, I know you've heard this time and time again but, this time, I'd like to draw your attention to a reason that has rarely been discussed. That reason is our mothers. So many of our mothers are standing in the way of those fathers (notice I'm calling them fathers because they want to be there) who want to be active in the lives of their children. Face it, HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU!!! Or maybe our mothers know this already and are trying to make him pay by using the innocent sweet children to get back at him. So so sad...

We women have to move pass these negative emotions and begin to love ourselves. Not allowing your children to spend time with their fathers is such robbery. I hear mothers express the love that they have for their children in word and deed all the time, but fail miserably in this area (Jon. 15:13). It is vital for a child to know their father, especially if he wants to be there, when so many don't. I'm sure there are countless amounts of studies that prove this, if you follow this type of stuff.

But, the underlying reason this issue exists is because of the breakdown of the family. The enemy has never wanted the family to thrive, ever since the garden of Eden. He has been jealous of the man and his wife, or anyone for that matter that is in a body suit. He has launched his best attack when he tries to convince women and men that they will find real love when they fornicate. Convinced of this they engage in the test drive, only to find out that it is nothing like lust said it would be. Now you're pregnant and you both decide to stay together and raise the child. Fast forward to the toddler stage, now the honeymoon is over and you guys hate each other because the relationship was built on the wrong foundation; lust (Gal. 5:16). So you both call it quits, but one of you really didn't want to, and the other has no clue (guy)that you are still hanging on. Guy moves on, girl doesn't. Sometimes girl/guy wants out, because she sabotages good things, because she/he does not think she/he deserves it. Then there's still the issue of the kid. Mother is bitter or resentful even if she is the one to break it off, and decides to be mean to the father who wants to love his child. Women can even be jealous of the love that a father shows his child, because they never received that kind of affection from their dad, so they are always arguing or creating situations just before the father is to pick up the child for visitation. Or instead of the nightly 'tuck in and pray' call, fathers get the voicemail for days or weeks on end(the cycle continues).

Mothers, STOP already, just STOP IT! You are only hurting your children. Yes, he is hurt, but the most damage is being done to your very own children. As parents we do not get a 'do over'. This is no dress rehearsal, this is it, you're in your scene and, the cameras in heaven are rolling. Your children love both parents equally and need both just as much as the other. Don't make them choose because they wont. Also decide not to let your children hear you speak ill of their father or mother, (Gal. 5:19-26) this makes them extremely sad and, may even create anxiety, and will show up in possible bed wetting, grinding the teeth at night, biting of nails, or some other form or, nervous habit.

Our world needs fathers to be involved with their children to stop the vicious cycle of crime, suicide, homosexuality, lesbianism, teenage pregnancy, divorce, and most of all SELFISHNESS. All of these actions are rooted in selfishness, and if we would act out of genuine love for our children, and allow them to have a relationship with their willing fathers, we will begin to turn things around, and replace the wrongs with more rights.

You see, the word FATHER = DESTINY whether you know him or not. If you know him and have a fairly good relationship, you may get to your desired destination in life alot quicker. If you hardly know and spend little time with him nurturing you, you could take the long way home. You may encounter some self esteem issues, and may tend to look for love in the wrong places like: gangs, pregnancy, drugs, premarital sex, crime, gender issues, unfruitful relationships, with both male and females, and the list could go on. You may be able to finish this list for me.

I have had my share of experiences and can say first hand what a difference an active father can make in the life of a child. You can not control what your adult children will do, but you can equip them with the right tools to make good lifelong decisions.

Monday, June 22, 2009


As I prepared father's day dinner for my husband and his father, I began to reflect on my experience with my father. As I cooked, a wonderful meal I might add, I recall how my dad and I had a great time together, almost everyday we did something, until I was around eight years old, then he moved away and married someone other than my mother. This was disappointing to me, but I took it pretty good. I still loved my dad and thought he loved me.
When I became an adult, I began to understand how someone could leave their child behind to pursue their own dreams. How I see it, he loved me, but not as much as he loved himself. Even, now 31 years later, he is the same person, though I love him right where he is. I have also forgiven him a long time ago for leaving me at such a young age, and not supporting my mother over the years I was growing up. I understand that people do what they know, and you really can't fault them for it. If all one knows is 'SELFISHNESS' then that's what one will do. There are only two forces in the world (cd), love and selfishness. You can judge yourself with this everyday, or as often as you need to. Ask yourself if you are acting in one or the other, and this will help you to stay on the love side (I hope).
At this time, my dad will not respond to my phone calls because of something he thought I did wrong. I still reach out to him and leave him messages on his voicemail with my phone number. Love never fails (I Cor. 13:4,8) and it suffers long with others, and is kind. We are also to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44) and, to do good to those that use us (wow). Can we do this? ABSOLUTELY!!! like it never even happened.
Finally, my heavenly Father has sealed up every void that was left by my earthly, or biological, or the man responsible for fertilizing the egg which was given through my mother. The reason I say it this way, is for you to get an understanding that, we are God's property, His creation. We were designed to come back to Him when we become of age. Parents are just the vessel used to get us here, and I mean no disrespect, I do love mine and honor them as best as I know how.
There is a thick line between the male and the father. Males that help bare children, but do not have any part in raising them, by choice are not fathers. Fatherhood means relationship, time spent nurturing, sustaining, supporting, comforting, encouraging and much more. Our Heavenly Father has provided this for us since before the beginning of the foundation of the world. He was here when you got here, and He will be here when you leave (Alpha & Omega). He is everything you will ever need in this life, it is all found in Him. I hope you experience Abba Father for yourself.

Friday, June 19, 2009


There seems to be a tremendous unawareness concerning this subject. People tend to do this without even realizing. It really is for so many, second nature. When I researched this topic, after having several people to do this to me in one day, it really got my attention. I began to first check myself concerning this. Then I was able to recognize that this was around from the garden days. Brother Adam, beat out Sister Eve on this one ( Gen. 3). In as early as chapter three of 'the beginning', God asked Adam where he was, of course He knew, but He wanted Adam to identify where he was spiritually and mentally for himself. Sort of like judging yourself daily. Well, Adam proceeded to skip around the subject with half truths, so God came in for the kill with a direct question based on Adam's response. Then, Adam proceeded to blamed Eve for having eaten the forbidden fruit, instead of covering her, thus introducing the 'spirit of division' (v.12). Then God began to converse with the woman, and she in turn blamed the serpent (v.13). No one here, but the serpent, was willing to take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions.

I am convinced that, if Adam and Eve had been united in saying "MY BAD-WE MESSED UP!" things might have turned out a bit different. I don't know how, but there's just something about confessing your sins (I Jon. 1:9) that is so liberating. Passing the blame has its roots in selfishness, which means we are proud or haughty when we operate in this type of behavior against others. This spirit of pride is so subtle and somewhat sneaky, so we have to be so careful not to try to preserve 'SELF' at the expense of trapping others. The word says that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (Jam. 4:6). So this tells me that the opposite of pride is humility. So, when others want to blame us, we ought to retaliate in humility, by not looking for a scapegoat.

When someone is pointing the finger at you, whether you are the blame or not, the Bible also says to "agree with them quickly" (Matt. 5:25). Wow, how many of us are willing to take the blame for something we didn't do? In doing this, I've seen it done on occasion, you silence the enemy behind the person. He is literally stunned, that there is no fight, and does not know what to do. This really works!! Say " I apologise" and ask, "is there something you can do to make it better?". 9 out of 10 times the apology will suffice, and keep in mind, this is not a method, but an act of obedience and genuine kindness.

So, be the bigger person, and receive from your Father unmerited favor for your obedience, and watch Him turn it around for your good.

For further clarification send an email or note in the comments section.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

HOT or COLD?????

I am truly amazed and saddened when I encounter indifference. Brothers, and sisters, and fathers, and mothers, who will not make a decision to allow God, whom they profess to love, to lead their lives. Yes, it is hard to believe, when you can't see, but all I can recollect is Abraham waiting for 25 years for his promised son. Noah, waited 100 years, while building an ark, in a place where it had never rained. How many of us would wait 1 year, let alone 25 or 100. The lyrics in a song once read "It's not faith if you're using your eyes".

As I write these lines, I am encouraging myself simultaneously. My core aches for all of mankind, and if I'm aching, what about our Creator. What must He feel when He sees His creation in this state. If we could only grasp, and hold onto the love that God has for us, then we would not waver in our belief, and as soon as the enemy's contradiction shows up in our minds, in the mail or in our presence, we would be able to cast him down with the TRUTH. The only TRUTH, that exists concerning you is that you are magnificent. Just the way he made you, and you have the power to overcome any obstacle that opposes you. You can do it all!!!

But PLEASE, please 'DECIDE' whose side you're on. If not, you are considered by God to be doubleminded and lukewarm, and in this state He can not and will not help you. My encouragement today is for you to Ask, Seek, and Knock concerning your soul status, and when He answers, and He will, you will get the answers that you need. I hope you decide to be HOT on His trail, because the world is watching to see if you MEAN WHAT YOU SAY, or if you are WALKING THE WALK.


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