Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Do we know why the crime rate is so high, and why teenage pregnancy numbers are so astronomical? Or maybe why homosexuality is so rampant, or why there is so much promiscuity amongst our married and single people? Well, I'm sure we can take a pretty good guess on why things are the way they are.

One of the main reasons is because of our absent fathers. Yeah, Yeah, I know you've heard this time and time again but, this time, I'd like to draw your attention to a reason that has rarely been discussed. That reason is our mothers. So many of our mothers are standing in the way of those fathers (notice I'm calling them fathers because they want to be there) who want to be active in the lives of their children. Face it, HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU!!! Or maybe our mothers know this already and are trying to make him pay by using the innocent sweet children to get back at him. So so sad...

We women have to move pass these negative emotions and begin to love ourselves. Not allowing your children to spend time with their fathers is such robbery. I hear mothers express the love that they have for their children in word and deed all the time, but fail miserably in this area (Jon. 15:13). It is vital for a child to know their father, especially if he wants to be there, when so many don't. I'm sure there are countless amounts of studies that prove this, if you follow this type of stuff.

But, the underlying reason this issue exists is because of the breakdown of the family. The enemy has never wanted the family to thrive, ever since the garden of Eden. He has been jealous of the man and his wife, or anyone for that matter that is in a body suit. He has launched his best attack when he tries to convince women and men that they will find real love when they fornicate. Convinced of this they engage in the test drive, only to find out that it is nothing like lust said it would be. Now you're pregnant and you both decide to stay together and raise the child. Fast forward to the toddler stage, now the honeymoon is over and you guys hate each other because the relationship was built on the wrong foundation; lust (Gal. 5:16). So you both call it quits, but one of you really didn't want to, and the other has no clue (guy)that you are still hanging on. Guy moves on, girl doesn't. Sometimes girl/guy wants out, because she sabotages good things, because she/he does not think she/he deserves it. Then there's still the issue of the kid. Mother is bitter or resentful even if she is the one to break it off, and decides to be mean to the father who wants to love his child. Women can even be jealous of the love that a father shows his child, because they never received that kind of affection from their dad, so they are always arguing or creating situations just before the father is to pick up the child for visitation. Or instead of the nightly 'tuck in and pray' call, fathers get the voicemail for days or weeks on end(the cycle continues).

Mothers, STOP already, just STOP IT! You are only hurting your children. Yes, he is hurt, but the most damage is being done to your very own children. As parents we do not get a 'do over'. This is no dress rehearsal, this is it, you're in your scene and, the cameras in heaven are rolling. Your children love both parents equally and need both just as much as the other. Don't make them choose because they wont. Also decide not to let your children hear you speak ill of their father or mother, (Gal. 5:19-26) this makes them extremely sad and, may even create anxiety, and will show up in possible bed wetting, grinding the teeth at night, biting of nails, or some other form or, nervous habit.

Our world needs fathers to be involved with their children to stop the vicious cycle of crime, suicide, homosexuality, lesbianism, teenage pregnancy, divorce, and most of all SELFISHNESS. All of these actions are rooted in selfishness, and if we would act out of genuine love for our children, and allow them to have a relationship with their willing fathers, we will begin to turn things around, and replace the wrongs with more rights.

You see, the word FATHER = DESTINY whether you know him or not. If you know him and have a fairly good relationship, you may get to your desired destination in life alot quicker. If you hardly know and spend little time with him nurturing you, you could take the long way home. You may encounter some self esteem issues, and may tend to look for love in the wrong places like: gangs, pregnancy, drugs, premarital sex, crime, gender issues, unfruitful relationships, with both male and females, and the list could go on. You may be able to finish this list for me.

I have had my share of experiences and can say first hand what a difference an active father can make in the life of a child. You can not control what your adult children will do, but you can equip them with the right tools to make good lifelong decisions.

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